26 weeks

Most of the time when you become pregnant you never think of anything but a perfect 9 months. You know that you will experience nausea, fatigue and bloating (weight gain). You go into your pregnancy looking forward to hearing their heartbeat for the first time. You look forward to the first time you feel them kick. You look forward to finding out if you'll have a son or daughter. You look forward to buying maternity clothes. But, most of all, you look forward to the moment when you tell your husband, "It's time,"

I didn't get the chance to experience the perfect 9 months. My 9 months were interrupted far too soon. We were able to hear our babies heartbeat. I was able to feel our baby kick. We were able to find out we were having a son.  I did get the chance to wear maternity clothes for a month. What I didn't get to experience was telling my husband, "It's time." The nurse at DMH, with a terrified look on her face, told us it was time.

The day that changed me forever was November 4, 2005. It was a beautiful, crisp fall day. I had been feeling a little under the weather the previous week. I had called my Dr. to ask him if what I was experiencing was normal for someone who was 25 weeks along. The nurse reassured me that the Dr. thought my symptoms were normal. He said, "Someone going into their third trimester can sometimes have these symptoms. There's nothing you should be worried about." I felt like he was the professional, so I trusted his word. I knew in the back of my mind that something was not right. Call it mother's intuition.

I had to work the day of the 4th, so I got up and headed for the office. I worked for a plastic surgeon as a receptionist. Our duties consisted of making charts, checking in patients, dealing with insurance and other busy work. Luckily, the responsibilities were not strenuous. Within, an hour of being at the office I started having severe stomach pains. Stomach pains that took my breath. I would have one of these episodes and then stand back up and go about my business. I had 5 of these horrible pains before lunch. After I met my parents for a quick bite I headed back to work. Not really thinking much of what I had endured. Once I returned I started having the pains again. Only this time they were ten times worse than what I had previously experienced. As one of the nurses was walking by she saw me doubled over in pain. She came over to me and asked if I was okay. I said, "I'm fine, I think I have gas." LOL....really, gas? Man, was I wrong! She told me that she thought I needed to go see my OB. His office was in the next building. Looking back, I should have taken the time and listened to her. Instead I called my cousin, who is an OB nurse, and left her a message with my symptoms. I was hoping she could give me some insight into what was going on.

When I finally got off work I headed home. Nate soon followed. When he came in the house I was laying on the couch. Exhausted. He asked if I was okay and I said, "Yeah, I'm fine." A few minutes later Lee-Ann (my wonderful OB cousin who is a nurse) called and said, "You need to get in your car and go to the hospital right now!" I asked, "Why?" She said. "I think you're in preterm labor. You need to go right now." I said, "Okay." During the next few minutes it took me to get my shoes on Lee-Ann had called my Mom and tattled on me. So, the next phone call was my mother telling me, in a very stern voice, to get my butt in the vehicle and go to the hospital. She and my Dad would meet us there. I was still oblivious to what was truly going to be happening over the next few hours. How this little person inside of me would turn my world upside down.

Nate and I got into our car and made it to the hospital. We went to the OB floor, with my parents, and headed for the front desk. I walked up and said, "Lee-Ann thinks I am in preterm labor and she wants one of you to check me." One of girls behind the desk took me to a room and had me change into one of those adorable hospital gowns. She had me lay on the bed and said, "Another nurse will be in shortly." It wasn't 2 minutes and Sue, the other nurse, came in to see what was going on. The next few minutes are something I will never forget. While checking me her face became very concerned. She looked at me and said, "Honey, you are dilated at a 6." I looked at her and said, "What!" She then replied, "Dr. Byrkit is in the building so we're going to have her come up and check you also. We're paging Dr. Tsuda right now." I looked at Nate and he had no expression. We locked eyes and I could see the fear.

Dr. Byrkit was on the OB floor within a flash. She came in like a lightening bolt. Every single person in that room moved out of her way like they were the parted sea. She came to the bedside and checked me. The Dr. looked in my eyes and said, "You're having this baby tonight. You're not dilated 6, you're at a 9." She was gone before I knew it. Sue started my IV and they gave me steroids for Jack's lungs, hoping it would help his outcome a little.  By this time, Dr. Tsuda had came in and assessed the situation. He looked at Sue and said, "We need to prep the OR for delivery. Call Dr. Eftekari so he can be here when she delivers." I asked him if I was going to have a C-section. He said. "No, you're going to do it the old fashioned way." And walked out.

My head was spinning. Nate was still sitting beside me. I told him to go out and tell Mom and Dad what was going to be happening. I also asked him to make a few calls to family and friends. He gave me a long kiss on my forehead and left the room. I was alone. I put my hands on my stomach and closed my eyes. Very softly I whispered to Jack, "It's just you and me, baby. You have to be strong for mommy. You have to fight for mommy. You have to live for mommy. I need you to live for mommy." It's unbelievable the peace that overcame me at this point. I wasn't afraid. I wasn't sad. I was ready. I knew I had to be ready.

When the nurses wheeled me out to take me to the OR I saw the faces of my family. My Mom, my Dad, my in-laws. They were all there, but they looked petrified.  I saw my cousin, Lee-Ann, and I had comfort when I saw her. She told me that everything was going to be okay. I looked at her and thought, "I know." I was blessed enough to have her in the OR to help me push and get Jack out as quickly as possible. I needed to get him out. At one point I looked at Lee and said, "I'm going to pass out, I'm going to pass out." She firmly said, "No, you're not. You push him out, Brittny. You can do this." After 20 minutes of pushing, at 5:59 pm weighing 2.7 lbs., my reason for being on this Earth came into my world. Dr. Tsuda held Jack up for me to see before they whisked him away to stabilize him. When I saw his face I got a glimpse of perfection at it's finest. He was small but, oh, was he perfect. At that moment I knew exactly what my Mom meant when she said, "You'll never understand how much I love you until you have your own baby." She was so right. I had immediate, unconditional love for this child that had already made me a better person.

Lee-Ann had followed Jack into the level 2 area of the nursery. She back into the OR a few minutes later with tears in her eyes and a big smile. She said, "He cried, Brit." I felt tears well up in my eyes. Jack had listened to his mommy. He was strong, he was brave and he was fighting for his life.

After about an hour we were able to go see Jack in the level 2 nursery. As I held Jack's tiny hand in mine I prayed to myself, "God, you have outdone yourself this time. What ever did I do in my life to deserve the blessing of being this perfect child's mother? Give us strength for what lies ahead of us. Whatever you choose, life or death, for our baby I will praise You and thank You for, at least, having this precious time with him." I think back to those first moments of Jack's life. They were scary. They were uncertain. They were heartbreaking watching Jack fight for his life. They were also joyful.  There was thankfulness. Above all else, there was hope and faith. A hope and faith that passes all understanding. A hope and faith that only comes from the one who gives life. Jesus.