Over the moon

A few weeks before we got the big surprise I had been feeling a little under the weather. I kept taking tests thinking to myself,  "Maybe I am pregnant." Every single one was a BIG negative. Which anyone who wants to be become pregnant knows, that negative sign is a like being shot in the foot. So, after making the EPT pregnancy test company lots of money I decided that it was time to stop taking a test every single day. I wasn't pregnant.

We had big plans for the weekend of June 4th. Our very good friends, Kristin and Dan, were getting married. Of course, being involved in the wedding we had the rehearsal dinner on that Friday night, June 3rd.  I woke up that morning feeling refreshed. I didn't feel sick and had lots of energy. I fed our cat, Beleg, and headed to the bathroom. I thought, "You know, I have one more test in the cabinet and it won't hurt in taking it. You never know." Boy, was I in for a surprise.

After taking the test I sat it on the counter. Beleg HAD to follow me into the bathroom, so I was talking to him. The test was one that had the digital Not pregnant or pregnant screen on it. When I took the test in my hand I froze. It said PREGNANT!!! In big, bold black letters. I almost fell off of the toilet in disbelief. I yelled at the top of my lungs, "YEE HAW." Then stood up with my pants around my ankles and did a happy dance. At this point, Beleg had headed for the hills because I scared him half to death. I then began to weep. I mean weep, like not being able to catch my breath or utter a word.

The next few minutes I remember as if it were yesterday. I put my hands in the air and cried out to God. I said, "Jesus, thank you. Thank you for this life that you placed inside of me. Thank you for the chance to be a mother. Thank you for believing that Nate and I can raise this child to know you. Lord, forgive me for doubting you and your ability to do the impossible. Jesus, you are so good to me." He had done it. He had done the impossible. Even when the doctors said that Nate and I wouldn't be able to this on our own. That day God showed who truly gives life.

After I pulled my pants up (Yes, I did all of the above with my pants around my ankles) I grabbed our cat and squeezed him as hard as I could. I think his eyeballs might have popped out of their sockets.  Not sure. I quickly picked up the phone and called the other person that's life was about to change forever. Nate picked up the phone and said, "Hey babe." I just began to cry and said, "I'm pregnant." His next words were, "Are you sure?" I almost wanted to laugh. I said, "Yes, I'm sure. The test was positive." He was thrilled but, I think, a little taken back. We didn't think that this could happen. We never thought in a million years that we would be able to do this on our own. I think, looking back, I put to much trust in what the doctors said then believing that our wonderful savior could do this on HIS own. The only help we needed was trusting the One who gives and takes life.

My favorite versus from the bible are from Psalm 139 13-16:

3 For you created my inmost being;
   you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
¹⁴ I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
   your works are wonderful,
   I know that full well.
¹⁵ My frame was not hidden from you
   when I was made in the secret place,
   when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
¹⁶ Your eyes saw my unformed body;
   all the days ordained for me were written in your book
   before one of them came to be.

I believed that my baby was given to me from our beloved Jesus. He had created that miracle inside of me. He had knit that child together in my womb. Above all else, he had fearfully and wonderfully made this little person that I could call my own.